the big picture

I am still working through Lara Casey's 2015 Goal Setting and am loving how it has made me stop to dream (and plan) a really intentional year. I don't want to cruise through this year on auto-pilot and miss out on all that God has for me. Going "big picture" has been hard for me, because I'm so type A and just want the details of what to do. But thinking and thinking until a vision for the year began to form was really good for me. But first, here's a little bit of where I'm coming from:

When looking back over 2014, I felt like a passive agent, just living the life that got dealt to me that year. And in some ways, that's true and good- we are not in control. We are called to faithfully live the life that God has for us. But somewhere along the line, faithfully living slowly warped into living life like it was one big task to complete. Everything was a chore physically: giving baths, doing laundry, playing on the floor with my kids, going to the park, vacuuming. But then when my body healed, those day to day things still felt like chores, which is fine if you're doing laundry, and not fine if you're doing school with your daughter.

I don't think that's the kind of life Jesus was talking about when he said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep...If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." So if Jesus, my Good Shepherd, came and died so that I may have life abundantly, then that life needs to look different than doing chores. (And can I be really honest and say that there's a way to do dishes and laundry and vacuuming and even cleaning the toilet that doesn't feel at all like a chore?)

So that's where I'm coming from. Because I'm still going to vacuum, do school, dishes, play on the floor, clean toilets, etc. But how I do them is what needs to change. Thank you God for not being satisfied with a completed to do list. Thank you for wanting my whole heart! Because duty gets the job done, but love does it right.

What is the big picture? If I were to live out my most purposeful year in 2015, what would that look like?  It would look simple and happy. It would be me being present and content in the here and now; taking joy in what is and not looking to what might be; serving rather than being served; being FOR others in a tangible way that pushes comparison out the door. It is self-forgetfulness. It is marked by peace.

When I'm 80, I want... to have watched my children and grandchildren chase hard after the Lord, letting Him take them where He wills. To have been someone who was wholly there, even in the little moments, in the mundane, investing in eternity.

Define your radical. This year, my radical act is to not complain. Not from my mouth. Not from my heart. Not looking to how things could be better. Having a grateful and content heart with what I have and where I am, even in difficulty.

Will you help me? My lack of a filter gives way to complaining easily. It goes like this:
Anyone: Hey, how have you been?
Me: Uh...ok. Blah blah blah blah blah...(I somehow don't have the instinct to say "fine" or "good." I just give the real truth and follow it up with too much detail.) And those details can easily become a list of complaints. So if you happen to be the "anyone" in the above scenario, and you hear a string of complaints (or even just one) come out of my mouth, would you gently encourage me to change perspective? Would you remind me of the blessing?

One of the reasons I have loved going through this via a blog is that it's out there. I feel like once I write it out and post it, there is no going back. It is set in stone and there are people who are going to read it and (please) hold me to it. Because it's what God wants, so it's what I want too.